Questions That May Haunt You

Here are answers to some questions that may haunt the reader:

• Can you cry under water? Yes, but the tears wash away.
• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? I think you have to be a somebody high up in gov't like a president or Congressman.
• Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? The extra penny goes to the federal gov't.
• Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? I hope not. Who would want to be stuck wearing the same clothes for eternity.
• Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Square boxes I believe are easier to make than round boxes.
• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? I don't think the Soviet Union at the time were racing to put wheels on their luggage. There wasn't a luggage race.
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? They are either suckers or they are looking into the windows of buildings.
• Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Doctors are taught in medical school that it is rude to laugh at their naked patients while they are in their presence.
• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? It's because the companies who make toasters are controlled by a strange secret group of people who like burnt toast.
• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Because it was Jimmy who wrote the song.
• Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Probably, but it would tick off the other carpoolers because the hearse would be in a funeral procession going real slow.
• If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? Because Wile E. Coyote is an obsessive/compulsive coyote. That and trying to kill the Roadrunner is funner than going out to eat at least to Wile.

There you have it. Now, you are less haunted.