Learning Humility

Nix narcissism. Narcissism is an exclusive focus on the self. The focus is appropriately on others—but on others’ needs, not on others’ misdeeds.

Eliminate entitlement. Entitled people believe they are superior to others in a way that qualifies them for special treatment. Thus, they are often preoccupied with fairness* as they perceive it.  When people are both narcissistic and entitled, they perceived themselves to be unique, special, and deserving in ways that other people are not. Humble people tend not to point to others, or themselves when things go wrong. They fix problems, not assign blame.

Puncture pride. We probably all feed pride, and sometimes our pride justly deserved. At other times, pride is a defensive shield to protect a fragile ego.

Equalize egoism with empathy. Instead of thinking about yourself, try thinking about other people’s feelings, thoughts, needs, and personal experiences.

Secure self-confidence and self-esteem—but not too much. Poor self esteem can motivate people to serve others altruistically and to avoid attention modestly. Poor self-esteem’s aim is self-protection. But so is high self-esteem aim the same. When people hold themselves to high regard but their self-esteem is fragile, they will decisively stamp out any challenge to their seeming self-confidence. Self-confidence allows people freedom from fear, which permits humble service.

Be self-aware, but not too self-aware.  Like everything in life, find a balance.

Practice virtue. Try pursing a meaningful life.

Cultivate spirituality or religion. Humble people often feel that they are responding to a calling beyond themselves.

Source: Humility. The Quiet Virtue (2007) by Everett L. Worthington Jr.

In the book, the author talks about St. Benedict’s steps of humility for monks. Interesting read.

Even Jesus and Buddha talked about humility.

 

*This is where we get social justice, wealth redistribution, etc. from.