The Downward Spiral of Codependency

What happens when you manage people like things? They stop believing that leadership can become a choice. Most people think of leadership as a position and therefore, don’t see themselves as leaders. Making personal leadership (influence) a choice is like the freedom to play the piano. It is a freedom that has to be earned-only then can leadership become a choice.

Until then, people think that only those in positions of authority should decide what must be done. They have consented perhaps unconsciously, to being controlled like a thing. Even if they perceive a need, they don't take the initiative to act. They wait to be told what to do by the person with the formal title, and then they respond as directed. Consequently, they blame the formal leader when things go wrong and give him or her the credit when things go well. And they are thanked for their 'cooperation and support."

This widespread reluctance to take initiative, to act independently, only fuels formal leader' imperative to direct or manage their subordinates. This, they believe, is what they must do in order to get followers to act. And this cycle quickly escalates into codependency. Each party's weakness reinforces and ultimately justifies the other's behavior. The more a manager (bishop, church leader) controls, the more he/she evokes behaviors that necessitate greater control or managing. The codependent culture that develops is eventually institutionalized to the point that no one takes responsibility. Over time, both leaders and followers confirm their roles in an unconscious pact. They disempower themselves by believing that others must change before their own circumstances can improve. The same cycle reappears in families between parents and children (neighborhoods, church congregations, school clubs, etc.).

Source: The 8th Habit. From Effectiveness to Greatness. (2004) by Stephen R. Covey.

I agree with what Mr. Covey said. Not only does this happen in neighborhoods and churches, but can happen with gov’t too. The Ruling Class (RC) creates social security which tells people they don’t have to save for their old age. The RC creates welfare so people don’t have to look after their families. And when gov’t can’t afford programs like these (like in Greece) people riot because there is very little personal responsibility left.

When a leader treats his subordinates or constituents like children that’s what they will become in the end. And maybe that’s what the leader wants too. That’s the whole point of Mr. Covey’s essay.