Talking to Crazy Notes

What I [the author] mean by crazy is irrational. There are four ways in which the people you deal with can be irrational:

1. They can’t see the world clearly.
2. They say or think things that make no sense.
3. They make decisions and take actions that aren’t in their best interest.
4. They become downright impossible when you try to guide them back to the side of reason.

The Sanity Cycle:

1. Recognize that the person you’re dealing with isn’t able to think rationally in the current situation . In addition, you’ll realize that the person’s crazy has deep roots in either the recent or distant past rather than the present moment, and that it isn’t something you can argue or reason away.
2. Identify the person’s modus operandi—the specific way he acts out his crazy . This is the strategy he uses to make you crazy, by causing you to become angry, guilty, ashamed, afraid, frustrated, or otherwise crazy yourself . When you understand the person’s M. O., you’ll feel calmer, more centered, and more in control when the two of you interact—and you’ll be able to select the right counterstrategy.
3. Realize that the crazy behavior isn’t about you . Instead, it’s all about the person you’re dealing with . To keep yourself from taking his words personally, you’ll identify and neutralize many of your buttons before talking with him . And while talking with the person, you’ll use powerful mental tools to keep yourself from escalating into crazy . These tools will allow you to prevent an amygdala hijack (a term coined by psychologist Daniel Goleman), which occurs when your amygdala—the threat-sensing part of your brain—blocks out your rational mind.
4. Talk with the irrational person, leaning into his crazy by entering his world calmly and with intention . First, you will assume innocence . That is, you’ll believe that the person is truly good at heart and that there’s a reason for the crazy behavior . Rather than being judgmental, you will be curious about what underlies that behavior. Second, you’ll imagine yourself experiencing those underlying emotions—feeling attacked, misunderstood, and defensive.
5. Show the person that you are an ally rather than a threat by listening calmly and empathetically as he vents. Rather than shutting him down, you’ll encourage this venting. And rather than attacking back, as the person expects, you’ll align yourself with him . In fact, you’ll even apologize to him . As you listen kindly and mirror the person empathetically, he’ll begin to listen to and mirror you.
6. Help guide the person to a saner way of thinking when he is calm.

Source: Talking to Crazy. How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life (2016) by Mark Goulston.

Possibly good advice for dealing with the far-Left. Then again, like the author says, maybe it’s better just to walk away and not be pulled into their craziness.